Can you say "High Maintenance?"
Sometime between 12 and 18 months-the birth of my second son, Dominic's personality became more profound. Things really began to change or become apparent with him. By the time he was 18 months old and I was ready to deliver my second son, I knew in my heart something was wrong.
I had a scheduled c-section with my second son, so had time to make arrangements for babysitters while I was in the hospital. When I reviewed the list of "instructions" that I had come up with for taking care of my young son, it hit me that this was not simply the work of a worrisome overprotective first-time mom, nor the anal-retentive rantings of a micromanager. No, it was something more.
As I ran down the list of things that my son required, I worried that the person scheduled to care for him would have a difficult time following the instructions and/or remembering everything on the list.
For example:
Feeding: Dom will only eat baby food and milk. The baby food must be stage 1, as he cannot negotiate any "chunky" foods, he spits them out or gags on it. Keep a towel handy, as Dom vomits every time he gets done eating.
When going outside, he must wear a hat, as he seems to hate the sun in his eyes. If he picks up something in one hand and starts crying or screaming, it's because he needs to have something in his other hand, too. His favorite spot is near the tree closest to the house, he likes to pull a piece of bark off it and hold a piece in each hand. If he drops one piece, he will get very upset.
That was just the beginning. The list of instructions for Dominic went on for four pages. He was very rigid in his schedule and the way he behaved, as well as how he expected us to behave. Over time, we had worked our entire schedule, household configuration, and so on around Dominic and his little "quirks" as we liked to call them.
As I sat down with my aunt, who was the first to care for Dom while I was in the hospital delivering my second son, and ran down the entire list of instructions, my heart beat fast. She nodded politely and stopped me frequently to ask questions-she didn't want to get anything wrong. In my mind I was sure she thought I was crazy! She took notes and when we were through the "Dominic Instruction Manual" she said, "Wow, Karen. You are so in-tune with your child!" She was impressed. I was nervous. Is this normal? I had done some babysitting in my younger days and if I had been handed such a rigid instruction manual, I'd have run for the hills! Perhaps my aunt chalked it up to me being a worried first-time mom who'd never left her child with anyone before? I hoped. In any case, she was too sensitive and polite to say otherwise.
At this point, I had to focus on the delivery of my second son, but in the back of my mind I couldn't help but worry about Dominic.
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